"Oh God, I don't love you. I don't even want to love you. But I want to want to love you." Teresa of Avila
I really haven't written much in this blog about God. I have a lot to write about God but I usually don't have time to contemplate how I want to write it. Since having Chetan, to be truthful, I just haven't had much time for God though He's always there is my mind, though at times at the back of it. Lately I've been thinking a lot about what God means to me and I've been wondering about how much I love God.
Honestly, God has been so good to me and has blessed me so much that I sometimes wonder if I love God because of all he has DONE for me, not because of who He IS. It really makes me sick to think that I love God because of his performance towards me. It is not the way love should be.
I've been thinking of the people in the Bible, who in my opinion really loved God and I've come up with three: David, Mary and Joseph (of the Old Testament).
David: To me the way David loved God is the way that God really should be loved. No wonder God called him a man after his own heart. Looking through the Psalms, it's easy to see that David was crazy about following the law (the word) of the Lord. He loved the law, He took great delight in it. Because he was so much after the law, he really got to know the One who gave those words in the first place. He loved the law because He wanted to be intimate with God. There's really no selfishness in this. It had nothing to do with God's performance. He loved God for God- no other reason.
Even when he sinned so badly, it broke him apart because the intimacy He held with God was lost. The words of Psalm 51 show how sincerely he wanted to be back to where he always was with God.
Mary: I like the way Mary loved God because she loved him in a very simple way. She was a small girl but she had big faith in God. She was willing to risk shame, ridicule, the love of her life (Joseph), death, immense heartache for the sake of letting God do what He wanted with her. God must have seen this girl's heart and seen a strong love for himself there and therefore He knew that she could endure carrying and mothering his Son.
Joseph: If anyone had a reason to shun God, it was Joseph. Surprisingly, the more bad things that happened to him, the more he grew closer to the Lord. His anchor was held in God, his eyes focused on him. He didn't know that God would bless him at the end. He totally loved, trusted God for no personal gain.
I want to love God like this. I want to love God because He is God, because He is my Creator, because He is deserving and worthy of being Loved.
1 comment:
Arpi, I loved your post...I thought about that quote you wrote at the beginning, Gordon and I were dissecting it...to understand it. But thanks for writing, I think it's so true that we should love God because of who he is rather than what he has done for us.
Post a Comment