So Obama has come to the throne of the USA. It's not really something to feel great about but I do feel that he will make some changes in terms of war and the economy. His other liberal stands are not God-pleasing but on the other hand, if a person is wanting to abort or have a same-sex marriage, a mere law is just going to frustrate them, not going to change their principles or situation.
But let me change the subject a little. It matters to me who rules the USA because somewhere inside of me, America still has a hold. I love that country of my youth. I can't forget it. Being there gave me such rich experiences and some of the happiest times of my life were spent there. America formed me in a sense- my way of thinking, it expanded my mind, it brought me in contact with something broader, deep, something apart from myself. Even though I've left the US, it hasn't left me and after 4 years of being in India- I'm afraid parts of me will always allege to being an "American".
I think like an American, I behave like one, I only don't look like one. It's difficult to live like this in a country which is so different than America. Sometimes it feels like I'm never gonna completely be free to be ME because that freedom is denied to me here in India. I feel like an animal trapped inside a cage, longing to roam wild like I was meant to be- and the sad part is that no one knows that I'm trapped even- because I look like everyone else here. That's why people can't understand why I behave and think so differently.
Actually it's not really as pathetic as I've made it seem but there is everyday a struggle inside of me to act as society mandates but at the same time a struggle of wanting to behave how I really want to- without caring a flip about society.
I'm happy to be in India and the bigger part of me, the part that goes down to the bone and marrow will always be dedicated to India- this country is my life! But I do have another country that I love.
God bless America!
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1 comment:
Well, you have an avenue to open yourself. It is good idea to do that. I am glad that you are able to reflect, ponder upon your situation and critically assess it. You seemed to be torned between two cultures, two countries, two worldviews but you still are an Indian and realizing that would make a lot of difference. Be strong! Get hold of yourself!! turst the Lord!!!
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