Every Rose has its thorns

Lately things have been a bit glib for us. Not overall glib but just that these past few weeks have been trying times. This past weekend found Samir and I just barely coping with Chetan's discipline issues. He's been so excessively cranky and so whiney that it is blowing my top off. He's still sick and gets a bit of fever everyday. I'm still sick. Samir is sick of us being sick.

I might have figured out why Chetan is acting so scummy. Yesterday when he opened his mouth wide, I noticed that 2 of his back molars are coming in. I am sure these are causing him some pain and therefore the irritation and also perhaps the fever. Sigh! It's hard growing up. Today I slapped Chetan twice and then he cried so much, he went to sleep- not before saying, 'don't beat me' many times. Me slapping him really knocked the wind out of me- I felt so bad but I am running out of patience. There is not one single thing that he willing to comply with- he says no for every single thing. I have tried to be patient, firm, loving, consistent, but he just refuses to listen. I'm just hoping it's cuz of the molars and nothing else.

I have to attend a wedding in Calcutta this weekend and I just don't know how I will go but I really almost have to, need to go. Sigh. I usually love weddings but how can I manage the travel and all the pace with Chetan- I don't know.

I didn't pass my exams and this was a big bummer for me even though I already had calculated my marks and knew that I wouldn't pass. It's really tough for me because I've never failed in much of anything but now I am unable to get through these exams.

Since the beginning of December, I have had such an acne problem and it is getting no better almost 3 months later. It's getting to the point where I cannot go out and face people because my face has such huge blemishes. I don't know why or how many years I must have to suffer with this problem.

I haven't heard from the school I applied to either and I know that I should not set myself up for disappointment but I thought that by Unnao's standards, I would definately get a call from them and I haven't.

All these areas, the acne, the lack of job, chetan's behaviour, the exams- they are obviously taking a toll on my self esteem. There are many feelings of discouragement and not knowing where my life is headed or if it counts for anything. I know that life isn't always going to be like this but still today I am struggling with a ton of insecurities.

I did read the account of Daniel in the lion' den and I was encouraged by this man's example:

1. Even though he was a slave, his hope and salvation rested in the Lord.

2. He had high principles and wonderful habits. He was in the habit of praying and thanking God three times a day since his early days. HE would not compromise his values, principles for anything, not even his life.

3. He believed in God. He trusted in his God and did not depend on his circumstances. His situation did not colour his outlook in life.

The Lord always finds a way to encourage me.